-part3.

Click pic for new url! :D

we loved.♥

Dumb message for you.

I will try. I will try my best. I won't forget him,

but I will remember him in another way. (:

I'm sorry. You know who you are. Thanks for treating me so great these few days. I'm afraid of falling again. I don't think you know what I mean. Ha.

Yours sincerely,

Dumb dumb.

we loved.♥

Awkward longing feeling.

1. No vulgarities.
2. No screaming.
3. No anyhow touching of other guys.
4. Wen rou ti tie.

Ah. Saturday WeiSiang & Elton came down to BK. SO GAN DONG! xDDD Then, WenCong was off but he came down at about 10 to accompany me to the bus stop. (: Elton & WeiSiang accompanied me back & Elton began to scold me.. & make him REGRET. They accompanied me all the way to my doorstep & Elton even called me to tell me the whole story. I made him sad. SORRY! ): When it stroke 12, we were at our 5th month. Too bad we broke up one day before the 5th month. Ha. Its over la. Suddenly I like damn sad. Lol. Then go to my mummy room & cry. xP Elton call then WeiSiang also call. After a while, WenCong also called. But then Elton sad, so he say he sleep first. Then I went to bathe, WeiSiang also put down after I finished. So I talked with WenCong as usual. (: Happy happy.

Next day went to work, I was a little more crazy than normal. I wasn't exactly what you would like to call happy. But, being crazy is how you can describe it. Tickle WenCong, tickle Edward. Then fight with Liu Bo. HAHAHA. Funny la. After work, Edward, WenCong & I sat down & started talking with this guy who came from South Africa. :D He went to Malaysia today. He meant Ijaz somewhere & became friends with him. Hahaha. Funny lo. Then the South African guy said South Africa had a lot of crime. WenCong heard a lot of crab. Damn cute la! Hahaha! xPpPp Then WenCong passed me a box of adhesive dressings for the cuts. Love him laaaa. Every night let me sleep on the phone while he is doing nothing. Zomg. Tai tai tai tai ai ta ler. Zen me ban?! Gaaaaaah.

Today went to work at 5pm. Returned his house key. Then kena counter. Told Ijaz if I do counter I sure quit. Lol. Then he let me do kitchen a while. In the end!! I only did for 2 hours!! Angry daooooo! Got new crew. She's from Indonesia & her name is Paulina. (: She looks cute but she's 18. I spoke to her like I was older than her. Bad me. ): I got a feeling I know the other girl that came with her. Her name is Erina. I think it's the one we played basketball with, bnot really very sure. ): Never seen her. (: Glad I made a new friend today. BUT I HAD TO GO HOME EARLY! Crap! ): Ijaz told Liu Bo that a customer from Burger King in Malaysia ate a Burger & found a condom. OMG. Hahaha!

He loves me? He loves me not? I really dont know now. I dont know if I do too now.

Very tiring? Stressed up & upset? Doesn't know if he loves me anymore?

we loved.♥

Nothing to say. We broke up. 8th december. 12.38am. I asked if he loved me.. He said he didn't know. So that was it. Yep. I'm not as sad as yesterday or the week before anymore. (: Thank you wencong, elton, weisiang, brenda, & mnay mnay many people laaaa. :D LOVES! (: Regret is what I want him to feel. Regret. (:

we loved.♥

One last chance.

He says that "My main problem anyway is the thing you write on that FUCKing blog is telling everybody to piti you!" HA. I'll show him that even if I dont let the whole world know, I still type this way. I'm off today because Nelson called and said, "Anson come already, you no need to come." :D

I slept at 8.30am last night & WenCong miraculously slept earlier than me! Wahahaha! :D Watched 惡作劇之吻 throughout(I'm still stuck at episode7) and I felt kinda bad because he was on the phone....not talking.....feeling bored.....& GAH! ): Asshole. ): He's still angry with me!! Sorry laaaaaaaaaaaa! ):

After he smsed me that what I was typing in my blog actually told everyone to pity me, I don't know what the hell is wrong with him deh. Like zomg. You hate me say you hate me lah! Walau eh. -.- Must you pick up excuses like that to break up with me? Nevermind. Since I removed those things off chew-ed.blogspot.com but I like that url. So I'm keeping it. (:

Anson, I like you. Even though I hate this. And I dont think I will ever forget whatever you are doing to kill me. But I still like you. I LIKE YOU! Maybe we can't last. But I will never forget the good things you have done for me either.
This is my fault. But I like expressing my feelings in this area! In this space! I have been doing this for 4years already. blogging is part of my life. Please. If you can't accept it, its okay. I won't publicise my blog. It's okay. I like keeping things to myself anyway. (: I pretend to hate you, so that even if we separate, you won't get hurt. I hope we don't end up there. ): I'm sorry.

Don't know why. Suddenly I'm like making everyone angry. Wencong's angy with me because I cut my hand. ): Really! I promise. I like talking to you. So if I really promise you with you having the reason to not talk to me forever, I must be either crazy...or desperate. ): ONE LAST CHANCE!

I think Tricia's angry with me too. Maybe it's because of the time, in school...she got mad at me. And didn't talk to me for 48hours. I don't know! If it's because of me being close to Brenda during the Bintan trip...then I think your completely nuts. Friends are meant to be shared! Zomg. Unless you are a lesbian, then, I can understand. BUT! Walau eh. In any case, during the camp, I didn't even stick to her. You were the one forever with her. Whereas even when I felt uncomfortable or felt pangseh-ed, your didn't even care lo. Your minds weren't even on the task. Do halfway start talking or playing & in the end, the job didn't get done. Zomg lah Tricia... I was also in the wrong because on the last day for builiding up the volleyball court, we didn't entertain you or something. Ah, okay. I'm sorry. THERE! I SAID IT ALREADY!

I hope I get forgiven, because we only live once. I don't want to live in regrets. Neither do I want you to die without forgiving someone then you come haunt me. Lol. (: Please forgive me!! Anson, Wencong, Tricia!! ): Also another person. Chunhei. Roar. Even though you not angry with me, but, THAT DAY I WAS JUST SUI KOU SHUO SHUO BA LE! So....yea. (:

Can I love myself?

we loved.♥

I wrote him a letter today. Saying that I loved him & slit my wrist so that there was enough blood to write ILY♡ on the bottom right. (: I also gave him the paper that I wrote Happy 4months Anniversary on it. I think thats all I wrote. Haha.

Him, "WTF!NUZHAT! VANESSA is crazy!!!"
Him, "You crazy arh!"
Him, "a... Jux know accentendly type Nuzhat name."
Him, "WTF i am CRAZY!AR!"
Him, "a... Jux dun care the msg la..."
Me, "Are you mad??"
He, "Why you like to write everything in the blog??"
Me, "haha. i like."
Him, "Den can dun put my name or about my things inside anot?"
Me, "cannot."
Him, "Wa kao! I dun like other to know or see me like wat you wan!"
Me, "ha."
Him, "Can you jux stop that...."
Me, "Then can you stop"
Him, "Cannot!"
Me, "Then I can't do anything"
Him, "Are you threating me?"
Me, "No I'm not. I'm only stating facts in my blog then."
Him, "Watever but i dun like that if you wan to state the fact state
ur thing and not my! That why i dun like you to tell Iyuni so much!"
Me, "Then tell me what's your fucking problem."
Him, "My FUCKing problem not to write anything about me anywhere.but nvm
you had already write...."
Me, "What's your main problem ANYWAY."
Him, "My main problem anyway is the thing you write on that FUCKing blog is
telling everybody to piti you!"
Me, "Yeah yeah, PITY."

MUAHAHAHA. -.- I dont feel guilt. I dont feel pain. Is there something wrong? Im off tmr. (:

we loved.♥

AH!! 4 more days to 5months. 5months leeeeei! am i old? lol! okok, you knw why i so happy? THANKS TO EDWARD! :DDDD i was damn super dead just now. i dont knw, maybe speaking to mature people make you feel much better. :P 谢谢您！龙胜!

ROAR.

因为你喜欢他.所以才这样.那就再等吧.等到有一天你也麻木了.他还没让你开心.你也不喜欢他了.就分手咯.
只要你还喜欢他就不要放弃.至少他没做什么对不起你的事情.可能每个人的喜欢别人的方式不同. Try ur best to trust him .

im happy once again. (: today i was off work. i had swollen eyes & i cut myself. oh oh,
THANK YOU WENCONG FOR LAST NIGHT!

im so happy to have friends like them! O: :DDDD thank you thank you thank you. now at least, HOPE is what i have. (: HOPE. anyway, i went out with gw, dongqiang, ahsiew, xiaocong! walau! you knw how long we wait for ahsiew?! VERY LONG. lol. nevermind la. :D at first duno what to do. den we watched enchanted. it was 1.30. the show was at 4.30. LOL. nevermind la. since wencong say, "wo men you de shi shi jian". nothing to do, take picture of pikachu. LOL. den walk here there everywhere. so we watched enchanted. the show wanst really bad. bt from the start, i alrady knw what would happen. & you knw!! the girls beside me were like, "what if the prince fall for this woman ar?" "haha! so funny loh!" "eeeee, so er xin der!" "ahhh! so cute!" -.- LOL! walau. okok, i'll rate it......5/10. cos, at the start of the show i already knw what will happen liao. -.- OH YA YA, you knw hor...wencong so cute lor! hahahaha! when gt advertisement, gt this gatorate & the two girls playing tennis the advertisement. he ask shaun, "shen me xi lai d

e?" HAHAHAHA!!! XPPPPP den watch watch watch. i love the chipmunk lei! LOL. den after the movie, we walk here walk there like zombie & go home ler. wencong is so nice. :D xPpPpP WENCONG YOU ROCK! :DDD oh ya ya ya, no more crying & stupid things, i swear. (: i enver go home lah. too sad ler. den walk here walk there like worse den zombie. walk here walk there, all i think is him. ): nevermind. that was what i tot a while ago. (: im happy. i'll stay happy. bcos that is what mr tan wants me to be. happy nessa. (: yea, he drew that for me.

im going to bathe & sleep. im working at 12pm & wencong is working at 12.30. ): edward's not coming bcos he has tests coming up next week. all the best yea? :DD
shery: yeah. i will be okay. (:
ayu<3: i will be okay. (: dont worry about me. :D & dont cry! :D
carmen: YES TWITZXZXZ! :D i will be okay. :D

love you all! (:

we loved.♥

6days to 5months.

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

______________says:
wad a bf u have

i dont know anymore. 17days since our last hug. 17days since our last kiss. 17days since you spoke nicely to me. 17days since you told me those three words. you told me you wanted to be beside me whenever im high or low. ive seriously never been so weak in my life. im relying on you for my reason of living.. i cant believe you can bear to get angry with me for so long. 17days. you have never been angry with me for even 17minutes what more 17days. why? why??? you promised me to make me happy everyday. IM SORRY. im sorry for everything ive done. im sorry. im very sorry. all i have are flashbacks from past places we've been. its all not enough. i need you beside me. its okay. i can wait.

sobbing doesnt resolve anything.
but at least it makes me laugh at myself for doing so.

you dont love me anymore.

we loved.♥

is this the decision?

wenconq ❤says:
btw jus let it be

Vaaanesy, I miss the way we were. says:
hwo to let it beeee

Vaaanesy, I miss the way we were. says:
continue as life goes?

Vaaanesy, I miss the way we were. says:
let everything be as anything?

wenconq ❤says:
why cnt?

wenconq ❤says:
u oso cnt do anything wif him

maybe, for once, he's right.

we loved.♥

周安胜！

wenconq ❤ says:
yoyo
wenconq ❤ says:
feel lyk fking my com

HAHAHA! @WENCONG! :DD

today anson pei-ed me to busstop. with wencong.. i duno. suddenly, i feel like as if i stead wiv wencong instead of anson. what the fuck. UGH! somehow, everything turns back to me. why why why? why? UGH WHY! can i just turn the time back & tell myself i wont work?!! i dont like this... i just called him yesterday night. we talked for 10minutes before 2hours. i gt myself so happy. very happy. happy till i cudnt undertsand why...! but why isit after through phones & handphones, today he treats me worse den an associate. why....

i wanna quit.. i wanna quit so bad. but maybe even if i quit...things wont get any better. so what if i quit? so what if i have no money? will he continue to be like a jackass as he is now? im so fed up. so fed up.

什么是爱？什么是珍惜？怎么珍惜？怎么拥有？

我跟你说过太多次……我没有你不行！真的不可以！可是你这样对我跟分手没两样。你曾经也对我说过这句话。你真的舍得让我这样活下去真是太可恶了！！！

周安胜！我爱你！

we loved.♥

today i off!! :D & i quarrelled wiv him again! bt i miss him! so i heck. :D went out wiv brenda~ she made me fucking high. LOL. :DDD

CLASS BBQ 20TH DECEMBER! ECP! 3ONWARDS! NO GOING HOME IF YOU WANT/CAN! :DD

call me beep me, if you wanna reach me! :D

we loved.♥